Golf for Dummies

I live in an amazing community.  Yes it has changed drastically since I was young, but it is amazing nonetheless.  Our schools are some of the best, and many move here because of them. The academics are top in the state and we have so many extra-curricular activities and sports for kids to choose from.  There is an afterschool program that offers various activities, from chess to tennis, animal classes, legos, robotics and more. I thought this was a great opportunity to take advantage of, letting my boys try something new.  

Caden said he wanted to “do Golf.”  Normally I would be weary, actually I probably wouldn’t sign him up at all, but he had his amazing Miss Tiffany with him.  Miss Tiffany was our gift from god, Caden’s “one on one” therapist at school. They had a very special bond and she looked after him as if he was a little brother.  She would be with him during this class, and that was all I need to know to sign him up.

Golf began on a Tuesday and took place once a week.  I did not watch Caden but got daily reports, and he seemed to be liking it.  Because of my close relationship with Miss Tiffany, we were always in communication.  She would text me photos of Caden and tell me funny things he would say throughout the day.  I received a text from her one Tuesday, after Caden was home from golf. She said there had been an incident today… my first thought is always… oh god, what did Caden do.  This time it wasn’t Caden, it was the instructor. Apparently this instructor thought he was training mini Tiger Woods. This class was for K-2nd graders. Caden has some fine motor skill difficulty as well as balance and coordination.  Not something he can’t learn, just needs a little extra time and someone with patience to teach him. Tiffany’s text to me made me see RED! I have heard people say this, I think it is a real thing. I was on FIRE! She told me that this “want to be pro” golf instructor told Caden he couldn’t do this and he didn’t belong here, (meaning in this class).  Miss Tiffany said it took every ounce of her not to tell him off, she still needed her job. I on the other hand had no problem holding back. I was disgusted, disappointed, sad… and so angry. You know how you are “supposed to” wait and cool off before reacting - well that went right out the door. I sat and typed an email that was coming in HOT to our principal and to the woman who runs this afterschool program.  Both of these women are wonderful caring people. I knew they would be beside themselves, especially our principal who had a son who was Autistic. Emails started firing back and forth. You could feel the anger as they were sent. Apologetic and disgusted, they both had no words to give me other than it would be handled. I sat with Caden and asked him about Golf. He told me his instructor said he was bad and couldn’t play golf.  I let him know that Miss Tiffany had told me what had happened, and my job as a mom is to protect him. I told Caden that he would never have to see that man again… and what he did, no matter disability or not, was not acceptable. This class is for fun, for kids to experience golf, most for the first time. If he didn’t have the patience to show my son how to grip a club correctly, he was clearly not fit to teach 5-7 year olds.

The school bell rang the next morning.  I dropped Caden and his brothers at their classrooms and headed into the principal’s office.  I sat at the table and the principal looked at me and gave me a hug. She felt and shared my pain.  We sat and talked about this man and how was it that he had been teaching our kids without anyone noticing (thank you Miss Tiffany) how he behaved.  We were told by the head of the program that there had been a few other complaints about this instructor at other schools. Nothing compared to what he had done to Caden, but he should not be teaching kids, or probably anyone.  He was fired.

I would never wish ill will on anyone, but I have to say, this felt good.  Being able to tell Caden that his mom made that man who was so mean to him lose his job was a great feeling.  I know that may sound weird… but my kid was hurt by someone and I promised him it wouldn’t happen ever again. I protected my son, and he knew it.  I want all my kids to know that if they have a problem, they need to tell me or their dad. We can’t help them if they don’t talk to us. We are here to help them.  Hearing Caden ask me, “mom, so he won’t be able to be mean to any other kids too?”... and able to answer him with a confident NO, made me feel proud of myself, I was a good mom.