Jake

Smiley, cheeky & loveable,  Jake has challenged our family in every way I could see possible.  He is an indigo child, strong willed, determined, an old soul, with a strong sense of omnipotence. These attributes are wonderful as an adult, but as a child, it can be difficult to manage.   My job as his mother is to coach, guide and love him through life, so his special talents can one day shine and he can become the Jake he was born to be.  

In 2016 when Jake was 13 months old our family moved to the USA. Our first pediatrician laughed and told me I had a very willful and determined young toddler.  I can still see her smiling as she said, “you have your hands full with that one!”. Those words have stuck with me and it is all I think of every time I describe my son’s bountiful personality. 

Jakes’ strong-willed behavior has provided many issues within our family dynamics, at preschool, on playdates and now in the school environment. We simply do not know how to parent this vibrant personality. I thought he was a typical boisterous boy until friends, family and teachers commented on his behavior and asked how we coped with such a child.  Observing him in the classroom, he certainly stands out from his peers as being different. My hope is that one day his differences will set him apart from the others in a positive way. That he will stand out in society as a role model, perhaps a leader, inventor or adventurer.

We were finding ourselves lost and hopeless, so we finally called in a family therapist.  Everytime we found ourselves at a breaking point, we would reach out to pediatricians, development specialists, therapist and a psychiatrist looking for some answers, some guidance…. something.  We were not looking for a diagnosis, I didn’t think anything was wrong with Jake, despite so many asking if he had “something” going on. A teacher had asked if he was Bi-polar and a hairdresser asked me if he was on the spectrum.  Beyond overwhelmed, all we wanted was to help parent this child and create some harmony in our home. Nothing was working and all of the parenting tricks we had read or were told to try had failed.  

 Diagnosed with ADHD combined and Sensory Processing Disorder at 4.5 years, Jakes behavior has been stressful for us as a family.  Being away from all of our family who is in Australia & New Zealand has been difficult as well. We do not have the built in support and unconditional love and at times we have felt very alone.  His diagnosis however has brought out so many things that I am grateful for. I have learned so much having Jake as my challenging child. He has driven me to seek out and question everything I know, which has led me to help his older brother in school and develop a new career and passion as an Advocate to help children like him within the education system.

These children will not conform to the standard rules of society, but we can coach them to work within the social boundaries. It takes energy, determination and drive and to do this. Our current education system is draconic we are not going to see “out of the box thinkers”.   These children are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the leaders, the Einstein’s and Elon Musk’s of the future. How will their future look if we continue to tell these spirited children they are wrong that they somehow need medication to make them normal. 

I’ve learned that I must be present with my child, while looking forward to the future and asking questions about what the current situation is teaching me. We don’t have all the answers, we are at the beginning of this journey, but I now look at this child with love and compassion and I see a bright future for him and those around him.

Despite all the advice we got from specialists the best advice I received was when my therapist provided me with a copy of Joe Newman's book “Raising Lions” This protocol has been a game changer to our family. It has created a way to work with Jake