Time on your Hands
Shut down, locked in, no place to go. Stuck with nothing to do and feeling overwhelmed. This virus has hit our world and is affecting us all. The things we took for granted, fresh air and walks on the beach, taking a bike ride or having a coffee with a friend, all gone and the uncertainty of when we will be free again is scary.
I often wonder what happened to me, I used to be such a fun mom stress free and a true sense of happiness. What happened to the person I was before life got so chaotic. My days were spent racing around doing everything for everyone seeking moments of peace for myself. Pinterest and Instagram posts took hold, making us feel we were not good enough, we were not creative enough, organized enough, put together enough. The reality is, we are all good enough, we are all exactly who we are supposed to be.
I used to have time and patience to be me. To sit and be creative, to color and play with my kids. The thought of being quiet and still was not scary, my thoughts were not cluttered and being present was not something I needed to work on. I woke in the mornings looking forward to taking in the little moments, watching my kids discover life and the newness of each day. Life was so simple. Making halloween costumes and hosting family dinners, walks to farmers market watching my kids jump in rain puddles, conversations with my husband and curling up on the couch to a favorite movie, was all I needed.
Life happens, our families continue to grow and activities fill our calendars, life isn’t so simple anymore. Chaos takes over and we learn how to thrive amongst the madness. Mad moms in minivans, we taxi and shuttle kids, trying to find a moment of peace for ourselves. In the midst of it all we have lost something, we have lost the appreciation for the simple things, for having quiet moments and connecting with our family and friends.
What we complain about the most is time, and the lack of. We complain about being overscheduled and overworked. We complain about our kids growing up too fast and wanting to slow down and freeze time. Our world is giving us the gift of time. In this scary and uncertain moment, the one thing we do have is time. We are being forced to slow down, to stop the racing and the chaos, stop the schedules and clear our calendars. This gift of time is now ours, but do we know what to do with it? We are finding ourselves lost without the familiarity of chaos. We are uncomfortable being still, being alone, being with ourselves.
Sometimes things happen and we don’t have answers. I am learning to let go of trying to understand, trying to control and just be. Thoughts can consume and overwhelm us, making us spin out of control. I have made a conscious decision to not allow the things I can’t control take me down. Instead, I am taking this time to reflect on my life and the things that truly matter to me. I am sitting with my thoughts, listening to what I have been trying to tell myself for years but could never hear amongst the chaos. The world has become quiet and I am starting to see. I am starting to hear, not only what I need, but what my kids need, and it is so simple. Love. Love is all anyone needs. However, I am still trying to find my new norm and it is not easy. I feel like my wings have been clipped and I am sitting with time on my hands and not knowing what to do with it.
I am going to take this time to listen to myself and I urge you to do the same. Take this time to discover what makes you happy, and how you want to spend your time. This is your life, so choose how you want to live it. Take this opportunity to do the things that you have been wanting to do, and have had no time to do them. Spend time with your kids before you have to go back to work again. Enjoy having your husband around while it lasts. Clean out your closets, organize your photos, start a garden, read a book, learn to bake, take an online course, get hooked on a Netflix series. Call your friends that you haven’t talked to in awhile and catch up - talk to them, don’t text. Sit outside and enjoy the sun. Just be. Whatever it is, however you choose to spend your time, know that you will find your way. This new norm will not last forever, so challenge yourself to try something new.